More About Me

There's nothing really interesting about me. I'm just an ordinary girl who is cheerful, loud, happy yet delicate, impulsive, indecisive and all. I can even be annoying sometimes. I easily get hurt and I'm not the strong type but I'm not the kind who gives up easily either. Every time I fall on the ground, I always pull myself up. For me, giving up is taking once life away and I can never do that. I love my life. It may not be as perfect as the others' but I'm glad I have this. I know I'm stronger than them emotionally though I cry a lot. Even if there were times that I thought crying my heart out is a weakness, I also believed more often that crying is being HUMAN and though people may think that I'm weak because I cry a lot, I know for myself that it isn't true at all because not everyone can cry their heart's out. I really think it's a good thing. Keeping all the burdens of your heart within yourself makes you weaker on the long run.

I'm a Roman Catholic but I seldom go to church, which does not mean that I don't believe in Him. I just don't think my faith will get stronger when i go to church. I actually feel otherwise. I even believe that my faith is firmer than those who go to church during Sundays.

What else? I'm taking up Bachelor of Science in Information Technology right now and I just got my Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA) license this year (2010). Hmmm... I don't actually feel like I belong to this field but I have to be practical and continue. Anyway, I'm sure I will find what my heart truly wants as I go through this journey of life. I am a very optimistic person though there are really times that optimism won't help and you just have to accept the bitterness of reality.

71: Into The Fire - A Must Watch Movie

71: Into the Fire is a 2010 Korean war film led by two of the greatest actors in Korea Kwon Sang Woo, as the rebellious guy and T.O.P, as the captain of the student soldier, together with Cha Seung-Won and Kim Seung Woo. The lead roles were originally casted to Kim Beom and Yoo Seung-Ho but for some reason, the roles were given to Kwon Sang Woo and T.O.P. Anyways, I believe they have performed their roles pretty well which made the movie really great.

This heart-breaking movie was based on the 71 students who fought against hundreds of North Korean soldiers during the Korean war on August 11, 1950. Mere students as they were, they protected the Pohang Girls Middle School, where they were ordered to, and held back the enemies for 11 hours. They were scared to death as the war started but kept on fighting in order to live. It is a must-watch movie and I already had it listed in my FAVORITE MOVIES LIST.

As I was watching at the earlier part of the movie, I had this realization that soldiers who went to wars might have thought that their enemies were wicked evil but the truth is their enemies also thought the same way as they did. I believe that most of the soldiers from both parties, if not all, especially those who only followed orders didn't really fight for their countries but for their lives. They fought in order to survive, to be able to see and hug their loved ones again, and to live as a man once again. Well, I am not saying that they were selfish and all and that they never thought about their countries. I just believe that the first thing they have in mind was to survive. Dying for the country is, I think, the last thing they have in mind. Of course, we have great people in this world who could die for someone, for the country, and I really admire them a lot. Dying over the want and need to survive is very courageous and rewarding. Okay, I guess I'm talking a lot here. Watch this movie and your time wouldn't be wasted.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. This is a post from my other blog and since I'll be using this blogger account again, I just thought I should also post it here.

Promises...

In a world where change is the only constant thing that exists, pain and distress arises. And promises,they are made to be failed and not to be fulfilled.

I once believed that not all promises can be broken...that there are some people, few of the billion people of earth, who can prove to me that not all promises are lies. I believed but I gained nothing but pain. I guess it was more than just believing. It was rather faith in the words uttered and said. But what does it gave me? A BROKEN HEART!

I could not believe myself for hurting this much...for being stuck in my past for over a year. I was stupid to believe. I was foolish to trust. But what can I do now? It's over now - the believing, the pain, the love, and the past! I don't know how long will I recover from this but the only thing I know now is that, promises, they can never stand in the test of time...and love, will never be enough to make someone stay. You may disagree with me but it's the truth and it bites and hurts!

But in every heartbreaks, there is what we call "moving on". Moving onto a new life, living all the heartaches and pasts behind. And it's not a choice! It's a NECESSITY! Being stuck is not an option! Moving forward is!

Goodbyes may hurt but sometimes, it's the only thing that will stop you from hoping and believing that promises do exist! Stop believing! It's a lie! It's a trap! A trap that will bring you bruises and wounds that are not easy to cure and alleviate.

A Gloomy Morning with Myself

I always try to cheer myself up every time I feel down and discouraged but the more I try to fake my feelings, the more I get frustrated.

Today is just one of those sluggish days. I woke up from a sad dream and as I get back my consciousness, I felt really, really sad for a reason I really don’t know. Last night, before I slept, I got irritated by the thoughts of people I shouldn’t be thinking of and by the things I tried to obliterate from my system. I just don’t have the peace of mind I need now. (sigh!) They say, every time you feel blue, you just have to think of the happy times you had and everything will be fine but I beg to disagree. It makes you even sadder. Well, in my case it does.

So what’s left for me to think? I don’t want to think of the past, I don’t want to get stuck. I hate the present it makes me feel weary. The future, on the other hand, is so uncertain, I don’t want to assume. (sigh again!)

Nothing really make sense now. >_____<

A Night of Individuality

(This is a late post since it was written on March 2, 2010 at 7pm.)

I was alone eating dinner with a single candle lit that brought me light. I was from the room watching August Rush not realizing that the electricity has gone off.

As I was eating alone, I tried to recall what happened during today. And I realized that nothing unusual has happened. It has never been a fun day. I have not met a friend and my eyes did not twinkle with joy and happiness. It was such an ordinary day, a sad day. So I asked myself, “When will I be happy? When will this sadness, disappointments, and fear abandon me?” (Thinking…) ...Maybe SOON …maybe LATER. God knows.

I don’t know what to write anymore. It’s so silent here that the ticking of the clock is the only sound I could hear. And I am here alone, with a small candle in front of me. It’s too dark and this little candle is bringing me light…a LITTLE candle in a dark space. Isn’t it wonderful? If I blow the little fire in this candle off, it would be too dark here to barely see anything. (Okay, let me try. *blew the candle...lit it again) It was dark without the candle’s light but as I lit the candle again, I see light. Awesome, isn’t it? This little light could be compared to HOPE. Hope could be as small as this dot (.) but this hope gives us the light to continue life, live life as it is, endure all the pain life gives. And even how dark the area where you are is, how dark is your life, a small, little light will be lit for you to bring you hope that, sooner or later, the lights will be turned on and your life will be as bright as you could even imagine.

Well, I sound really ironic here because personally, I get so disappointed and get hurt so easily. During a bad day, I become more of an unfaithful child of God who blames HIM for all the bad things that are happening. But despite that, I never gave in and at the end of the day, I still find myself with my eyes closed with tears, thanking God for the life and for the safety of my friends, family and everyone who is close to my heart. I may be no one for the many people that surrounds me but for HIM, I am somebody and I thank HIM for every day he has given me and for the many chances he has bestowed me so I could correct my mistakes from yesterdays and be with the few people who love me and with the people I love.

Live life as it is, endure the pain, cry, and be happy. For me, this is how life works. Hope and faith will always be our foundation. So hope and keep the faith! ^^,