Promises...

In a world where change is the only constant thing that exists, pain and distress arises. And promises,they are made to be failed and not to be fulfilled.

I once believed that not all promises can be broken...that there are some people, few of the billion people of earth, who can prove to me that not all promises are lies. I believed but I gained nothing but pain. I guess it was more than just believing. It was rather faith in the words uttered and said. But what does it gave me? A BROKEN HEART!

I could not believe myself for hurting this much...for being stuck in my past for over a year. I was stupid to believe. I was foolish to trust. But what can I do now? It's over now - the believing, the pain, the love, and the past! I don't know how long will I recover from this but the only thing I know now is that, promises, they can never stand in the test of time...and love, will never be enough to make someone stay. You may disagree with me but it's the truth and it bites and hurts!

But in every heartbreaks, there is what we call "moving on". Moving onto a new life, living all the heartaches and pasts behind. And it's not a choice! It's a NECESSITY! Being stuck is not an option! Moving forward is!

Goodbyes may hurt but sometimes, it's the only thing that will stop you from hoping and believing that promises do exist! Stop believing! It's a lie! It's a trap! A trap that will bring you bruises and wounds that are not easy to cure and alleviate.

A Gloomy Morning with Myself

I always try to cheer myself up every time I feel down and discouraged but the more I try to fake my feelings, the more I get frustrated.

Today is just one of those sluggish days. I woke up from a sad dream and as I get back my consciousness, I felt really, really sad for a reason I really don’t know. Last night, before I slept, I got irritated by the thoughts of people I shouldn’t be thinking of and by the things I tried to obliterate from my system. I just don’t have the peace of mind I need now. (sigh!) They say, every time you feel blue, you just have to think of the happy times you had and everything will be fine but I beg to disagree. It makes you even sadder. Well, in my case it does.

So what’s left for me to think? I don’t want to think of the past, I don’t want to get stuck. I hate the present it makes me feel weary. The future, on the other hand, is so uncertain, I don’t want to assume. (sigh again!)

Nothing really make sense now. >_____<

A Night of Individuality

(This is a late post since it was written on March 2, 2010 at 7pm.)

I was alone eating dinner with a single candle lit that brought me light. I was from the room watching August Rush not realizing that the electricity has gone off.

As I was eating alone, I tried to recall what happened during today. And I realized that nothing unusual has happened. It has never been a fun day. I have not met a friend and my eyes did not twinkle with joy and happiness. It was such an ordinary day, a sad day. So I asked myself, “When will I be happy? When will this sadness, disappointments, and fear abandon me?” (Thinking…) ...Maybe SOON …maybe LATER. God knows.

I don’t know what to write anymore. It’s so silent here that the ticking of the clock is the only sound I could hear. And I am here alone, with a small candle in front of me. It’s too dark and this little candle is bringing me light…a LITTLE candle in a dark space. Isn’t it wonderful? If I blow the little fire in this candle off, it would be too dark here to barely see anything. (Okay, let me try. *blew the candle...lit it again) It was dark without the candle’s light but as I lit the candle again, I see light. Awesome, isn’t it? This little light could be compared to HOPE. Hope could be as small as this dot (.) but this hope gives us the light to continue life, live life as it is, endure all the pain life gives. And even how dark the area where you are is, how dark is your life, a small, little light will be lit for you to bring you hope that, sooner or later, the lights will be turned on and your life will be as bright as you could even imagine.

Well, I sound really ironic here because personally, I get so disappointed and get hurt so easily. During a bad day, I become more of an unfaithful child of God who blames HIM for all the bad things that are happening. But despite that, I never gave in and at the end of the day, I still find myself with my eyes closed with tears, thanking God for the life and for the safety of my friends, family and everyone who is close to my heart. I may be no one for the many people that surrounds me but for HIM, I am somebody and I thank HIM for every day he has given me and for the many chances he has bestowed me so I could correct my mistakes from yesterdays and be with the few people who love me and with the people I love.

Live life as it is, endure the pain, cry, and be happy. For me, this is how life works. Hope and faith will always be our foundation. So hope and keep the faith! ^^,

HACHIKO - the loving dog

I have just finished watching the movie Hachiko almost 20 minutes ago and I have not recovered yet. He keeps on strolling in my mind so I decided to share my feelings about him.

My professor recommended me and my classmates to watch this movie entitled HACHIKO. So in the afternoon during that day, I copied the movie in the Department office.

Just more than an hour earlier, after school, I decided to watch the movie instead of sleeping thinking that I may get bore and could fall asleep. But what happened was very contrary to what I predicted to happen. Even now, I can't seem to feel sleepiness because of this very touching movie. It was worth my time and I'm gonna watch this movie all over again.

What was this movie all about?

It is more than just about the dog. It is basically about loyalty, love, and friendship. Hachiko is a dog - a special one - who found his home in a professor's arm. They made an inseparable bond that every people admired. He accompanied his master in the train station every morning and during his master's arrival from work, he could always be seen waiting at the front door of the station to welcome and accompany his master on their way home. But one day, his master did not come and after that afternoon, he waited and waited. You can't even guess how many years he had we waited.

This movie is a remake of the 1987 Japanese film Hachikō Monogatari. Watch this movie and I can assure you that you're gonna cry like a baby. ^^, It's a very good movie. You sure will love this.